Eight years ago, I made the decision to save sex for marriage. Even though I am the one who chose abstinence, there have been seasons where I’ve resented the consequences of my decision. Until…
There was a point about five years ago where I was exposed to the questions:
“Would you date YOU?” and “Are YOU the person, you are desiring in a mate?”
Whoa! My answers…”NO and NO!” This is what ultimately shifted the way I view my singleness. Ever since then, my single life has been a never ending quest for me to evolve. While I’ve heard there really is no way to truly prepare for marriage, I believe there are habits you can create now that will serve you and your spouse well in marriage.
5 Habits to Create While You’re Single
- Make friends with vulnerability
A truly intimate relationship cannot exist without vulnerability. I am intentional about allowing myself the freedom to be vulnerable. I practice this with my family, friends, and other people I may interact with day to day. Vulnerability is not the most comfortable thing in the world. But it breaks down barriers between people and promotes deep life giving connections. Check out my post on vulnerability.
- Learn to serve
Humility is (or should be) the cornerstone of every relationship. I’ll tell you what though, it sure isn’t intuitive. I always think about the way Jesus served the disciples when he humbled himself by washing their feet. Jesus commanded us to likewise serve one another in love. I shouldn’t expect to automatically know how to do this just because I’ve exchanged vows saying I would. This is something I needed to learn and make a core part of my being now, while I’m single.
- Buy in bulk
I know, this seems so random, right? Well, I can’t tell you how accomplished I feel when I’ve just loaded up on stuff from Costco that won’t need to be replenished for another 3-6 months. PRAISE DANCE! My schedule is crazy regimented which obviously will not change when there’s another person in my mix. This means I have to be as efficient as possible. Decreasing the number of trips you make to the grocery store JUST MAKES SENSE. This also gives you an idea of what it’s like to shop for a family.
- Spend your time well
I mentioned my heavily structured schedule. I’m not sure if this is something that just comes with age, but I LITERALLY have to plan EVERYTHING out. For the most part, if it’s not on my calendar, it ain’t happening! The rebellious and free-flowing side of me hates this. It is however, necessary. Since I have the ability to plan my weeks, I’m sure to add things like prayer time, self-care, a meal with a friend, a visit to the hair salon, even phone calls get scheduled. As much as I would love to just lay in the bed all day and binge on Netflix, it’s not even possible. Not if I am serious about tackling this mountain called, goals. One day, my days and goals will be shared. It’s illogical for me to wait until then to figure out how to use time optimally.
- Embrace holistic remedies
This has actually been such a fun aspect of my journey. I’m not against modern medicine. Yet, I feel there must be merit to all these natural remedies that have been around for centuries. I utilize nature’s gifts in most areas of my life, cooking, treating colds and other minor ailments, hair and skin care, boost health of immune system, aromatherapy, and for detoxing. I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been and it feels great! This is something I look forward to sharing with my husband and children.