We live in an imperfect world–with imperfect human beings. Things are bound to get messy! There was a point in my life where I thought if I could just surround myself with people I liked, all would be well. What I didn’t take into consideration is the fact that I won’t always like the people I like (lol). Boy did that throw a monkey wrench in my plans.
There will come a point where you don’t like someone that you love. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or even a spouse. I’ve experienced times where I’ve truly loathed people I’ve loved dearly. And I know for a fact there have been times when my loved ones have been utterly disgusted with me. As horrible as this sounds, it’s completely normal. For goodness sake, we are individuals with our own thoughts, opinions, experiences, and values–doing relationships with other individuals who have their own set of thoughts, opinions, experiences, and values.
Normal doesn’t really exist in relationships. We have to be willing to embrace abnormal and make it our own versions of normal. In other words, it may be a bit delusional to expect to have a perfectly unflawed relationship with anyone. There’s a saying I’m not too fond of, but it certainly has merit: “You must pick your poison.” Yes we are doing relationships with imperfect people (and we too are imperfect), but we have a great deal of choice in the matter. The people in my life are wonderful. Crazy, but wonderful. If I wanted to, there would be something I could pick out that I don’t necessarily care for in all of them, BUT I will take those things over another set of issues any day.
I have relationships with people who don’t share my religious beliefs, moral values, or perspectives or social issues. While this can make things uncomfortable, tense, and frustrating at times, it has also been a source of greater intimacy. Everyone gets to be heard, seen, and known. The differences are still there but they lose their power to divide us. Oh it’s messy stuff for sure! It’s also so beautiful. I feel free in all of my relationships. The dynamics are different but the freedom is constant.
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